Ask Coastal Eddy


Letters To Eddy

7/25/18

Dear Eddy,

When I go out fishing with buddies on my 42 ft trawler, the wife sends me off with a twelve pack of bottled water. She says that I should “hydrate.”  Eddy, she actually holds her fingers in little quotes when she uses the word “hydrate.” My wife also uses her little finger quotes when she tells her friends that I go “fishing” with my pals. When all her friends laugh, she remarks that on my boat we are only “renting” the beer. I try to give the bottled water to the homeless guys at the marina, but even they won’t take it. Anyway, I figure on an average day of fishing, I probably slam back about twenty Budweiser’s, not to mention a tequila shooter every hour or so, (which “hydrates” me even more!) My question, Eddy, is how can you possibly get dehydrated drinking that much liquid.

Signed,

Bob from Channel Islands

7/26/18

Dear Bob,

Coastal Eddy thinks that you are probably suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect, which concludes that people who don’t know very much tend not to recognize their own ignorance, so they fail to seek better information. In a German questionnaire, eighty per cent of respondents described themselves as confident in their answers, yet only thirty percent of them got even half the questions right. Just because you have an idea, Bob, doesn’t make it a good idea.  Coastal Eddy recommends that the Dunning-Kruger effect should be renamed the Bob from Channel Islands Effect.

5/19/18

Dear Coastal Eddy,      

I'm a surfer in a coastal college town, so there are plenty of hot coeds to go around, know what I mean? Recently, I was at a sports bar when I spied this righteous looking chick sitting alone at the bar.  I leaned over to her and said, “Hey babe,  how do you like your eggs in the morning?” Without batting an eye, she shot back, "Unfertilized." I didn't try to push it, Eddy, but later that evening I learned that she was an astronomy major. So the next day, I decided to take a class so I could communicate on her level. I registered at the Adult Education Center at the Junior College and signed up for a class called “Windows of the Universe Revealed, Astrology 101.” With my new motivation for scientific discovery, I cruised through the program, so the next time I saw her sitting alone in the sports bar, I marched right up and said, “I'll bet you're a Taurus, which means that tonight your moon is in Uranus.”  Eddy, she came off of that barstool like a mastiff on a meatball. She absolutely beat the crap out of me. I spent three weeks in the hospital. My question is: Do you think there’s still a chance for us? Or Should I even bother to take another Astrology class?

Larry in Santa Cruz

5/19/18

Dear Larry,

The question is often asked: “Why do people take such an immediate dislike to me?” Coastal Eddy’s guess: Because it saves time.  Larry, you need to work on a pickup line that doesn’t involve tuition, such as, “Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?”  Then if she hits you over the head with a Louisville Slugger, think of the time you’ve saved. By the way, nothing offends an astronomer more than being confused with an astrologist. Give up on this one, Larry.  Coastal Eddy suggests you get your moon out of Uranus, go back to the Adult Education Center, get your high school diploma and try to land a chick with one.



 

 

 

 

Eddy's ResponseResponse 

Dear Larry,

The question is often asked: “Why do people take such an immediate dislike to me?” Coastal Eddy’s guess: Because it saves time.  Larry, you need to work on a pickup line that doesn’t involve tuition, such as, “Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?”  Then if she hits you over the head with a Louisville Slugger, think of the time you’ve saved. By the way, nothing offends an astronomer more than being confused with an astrologist. Give up on this one, Larry.  Coastal Eddy suggests you get your moon out of Uranus, go back to the Adult Education Center, get your high school diploma and try to land a chick with one.